Day 3

driving today was frustrating.. my teacher brought me to the hill and the first time i did it- it wasn't bad. the second time i went up- it was SOOOO bad!! i was panicking so so badly and the car rolled all the way down the hill. people say the hardest part is balancing, the hardest part for me is remembering its the CLUTCH side that i have to release and not the pedal, also i have to stop panicking!!T.T ok, let me explain to you in a more simple and summarized way:
using a manual car, you have to go up the slope of a hill and balance yourself on the slope without rolling back. first, you have to reach the part before the curve, then you have to brake, pull up your handbrake then set the car on neutral and let go of all pedals, you SHOULD NOT fall at this stage. now you have to press the clutch all the way in to change to gear one, still with the hand brake up. while doing so, release the clutch halfway while pressing the accelerator in balance. now holding it, push the handbrake down and slowly release the clutch and you will go over. unfortunately for me, I RELEASED THE ACCELERATOR! 9UWEHTFOIWEHRIOWH!!! i  fail at this T.T came away pretty frustrated and i seriously didn't want to have anything to do with driving for the rest of the day. haiz.. i have a feeling i wont be able to get away with just 10 hours of lessons. not to mention changing gears on normal road is HORRIBLE T.T dangnabbit.. even that i can't do.. IOWHRTIOWH!! whatever, i shall get over it for now- i have tomorrow to relax.

basically, not in the mood to deal with studies right now- mom was nagging me to see my aunt for chem AND physics. -.- life just got even more depressing hasn't it? i just don't want to do this right now. sometimes i just wonder to myself, whats the point of learning all these subjects when i don't even enjoy it? its just making my life miserable and it tells me that i'm in the field where i'll be stuck doing things i DISLIKE instead of the things i like. eurgh.. this year started bad, got rough and it prolly will end badly too.

waiting for you =[